my sweetie rocked it!

in

today i watched as kirk stood in front of eight heavyweight faculty members and gave a 20-minute thesis presentation that, in my humble estimation, rocked the shizzouse.

kirkum, just before he went in to present his business plan thesis.

after a hard week of coming into the home stretch -- a week that included laser-focused days and no-sleep nights, the writing of a 20-page original business plan and the preparation of a tight, professional presentation of said plan -- kirk stood in the front of that room and demonstrated the truth of who he is with real knowledge, gifting, and confidence. it totally blew my mind. i was so proud of him!

afterward, he felt such a release, especially since there was no beating around the bush on this one: he had done very, very well.

so, of course, we went out to celebrate! in our world, this translated into several hours of spending fun, quality time together. we hopped into a theatre to see indiana jones 4, before the crowds descended upon the theatre in typical friday-night fashion. we enjoyed conversation as we strolled hand-in-hand along our little downtown area on park avenue. and we drove out to a favorite restaurant to enjoy a yummy dinner with two glasses of really terrific wine.

in our world, this also translated into early graduation presents. even though kirk has one major project left to finish next week and doesn't walk in his graduation ceremony for two more weeks . . . what can i say? i was too excited to wait to give him this:

his graduation gift package included this gorgeous, handcrafted meerschaum pipe with eagle detail, a chrome zippo lighter, a pipe stand for his desk, a classic book on the history of pipes, and a pipe tamper bust of sir walter raleigh. (sir walter raleigh was a renaissance man, just like kirk, so i deemed that a perfect fit for this pipe that features his favorite bird.)

of course, the only thing i couldn't purchase from the great vendor who supplied all these beautiful gifts was a stash of tobacco. so off we headed to the one place on park avenue that i thought might carry tobacco: the cigar shop.

unfortunately, the cigar shop did not carry tobacco. no worries, though. we purchased a cohiba cigar for kirk to enjoy as we strolled down the avenue instead.

silly boy!

in all, it was a great day. i'm thrilled he reached this major milestone. like i said, he's got one major project left to finish, due next week, and then he walks to receive his master's diploma on friday, june 6th.

whew! what a journey.

six random things

in

laura at green inventions central tagged me with a fun, carefree meme that asks me to share six random things about myself. so, in the hopes of sharing six things you didn't already know (unless you are my mom), here goes . . .

1. i sucked my thumb until i was eight years old. i did this in defiance of the agreement i made with my mom that i was old enough to give up the habit when i turned six. despite her belief that i was faithfully upholding my end of this bargain, i secretly stuck it out for two more years.

2. i have never broken a bone in my body. this says more about my scaredy-cat-ness than anything else. while my sister was out wrestling the neighborhood boys and scraping up her knees and elbows, i remained safely inside, reading books and keeping my pink dresses crisp and clean. i guess you could say i've kept this prim-and-proper approach to physical risk-taking throughout my life. none of my bones have ever been forced to go places they weren't meant to go, and i hope they never will.

3. kirk has informed me that i have four stages of eating. stage one: full absorption. this is when i quickly and fully enjoy each and every bite of the meal i have mentally anticipated eating all evening long. i usually enter into this stage with all of the attendant exclamations of enjoyment you would expect, such as "this is so good!" and "i can't believe how freakin' delicious this is." stage two: slowing down. this is when i still enjoy every bite of the experience, but the fork's speed from plate to mouth begins to slow. stage three: negotiation. at this point, i still want to enjoy the food that remains on my plate, but i've begun to realize that the space inside my tummy is finite and every forkful of food now matters. so i begin to negotiate with the food, carrying out a nonverbal conversation about which remaining bites most deserve to be eaten. kirk can tell this conversation is going on, even though he's not privy to what's being said between me and the food. stage four: total and utter disgust. at this point, it's over. in one quick and decisive move, i push the plate across the table, as far away from me as possible. i simply cannot stand the thought of another bite, much less the look or smell of any of that remaining food.

4. recently, i told kirk we must add one more stage to this process. stage five: dessert. because let's be honest. no matter how full the stomach or how disgusted the taste buds, there's always room for dessert.

5. my girl cat, diva, has developed an attachment. in animal terms, you could say she has imprinted. in physical terms, this means that she follows me around everywhere. even when i am not moving, she is there. for instance, i can be laying in bed reading. if i close the book, i see that she is sitting directly behind it, next to me, staring at me. just staring, unending staring. sometimes, when i close my eyes to rest, i will open them and see her still sitting there, her face up close to mine, staring. i should begin calling her diva the stare-er. except that's too awkward to say.

6. when i was in college, i was so addicted to dr. pepper that i had to compel myself into a fast. for the last eight months of school, from october until graduation day in may, i did not let one sip of dr. pepper pass my lips. my sister gave me a 24-pack as a graduation gift. interestingly enough, i think it took me about three months to finish it. (normally it would have taken me less than a week.) today, my drink of choice is pepsi.

i guess that does it, folks. i'd love to hear six random things about kirsten, rebecca, sarah, christin, nate, tammy, bluemountainmama, and erin.

friends make a real difference

in ,

i have been praying for almost two years that God would bring friends into my life here in florida. i knew, when kirk and i made the decision that i would move here when we got married, that i would never find another friend like sara . . . or kate . . . or my life group girls . . . or any of the kindred spirits who have graced my life with their presence throughout my days. i would never find another person quite like any of them again. and yet i began to pray for friends who could inhabit whole new rooms in my heart, who could take up residence in my affection in ways i had not yet discovered because our paths had not yet crossed.

it has been a long and lonely road in this direction.

even though kirk is my best friend and closest ally, i am the kind of girl who has always carried close and intimate friendships with a small handful of girls at a time. it's a blessing i have always been thankful to discover, because i know such kinships are so incredibly rare, and yet God has been consistently faithful to provide these kind of friends in the previous eras of my life. some of them have been in my life for more than ten years.

yet here was a long season in which new friendships in a new hometown would not make their way out of hiding. in nearly two years, i'd discovered only one, yet our different life responsibilities kept us from connecting as frequently as either of us would have liked. still, it was so nice to have made a local friend in lauren, just to know she was there, close by, a caring, fun, and thoughtful friend, even if i didn't see her beautiful face and infectious smile as often as i wanted to.

so still i prayed. and still i found myself waiting . . . and waiting . . . and waiting. i began to realize just how rich my friendship blessings in previous seasons of life had truly been.

i sustained myself as i waited through regular phone dates with the beautiful lovelies in my life back home, giving thanks regularly for the gift of being deeply known and loved in those places and for the gift of reciprocating that kind of love to them.

and i gave thanks for the lifesaving gift that has been this blog.

you all know what i'm talking about. if you're reading this, chances are you, too, have been awestruck by the amazing community of friends that has grown and deepened through so many connections made and the deep, beautiful souls that care and offer their hearts and the grace of Christ to others with their words, sharing honest pieces of their truth as they continue to learn and live this life. if anyone has ever doubted that real community can develop in blogland, they need look no further than the community of friends that has gathered here and in other close places . . . a community that prays together and walks together through the difficult and the celebratory times that life can bring. they need look no further than the soul friend i've found in my dear kirsten-girl. my need for friendship in the past two years has been fed so frequently in this very space and in the spaces of so many others of you out there. and for that, i thank God . . . and i also thank you.

then, in february, something interesting developed.

i got an e-mail from lauren. although we hadn't been connecting in person very frequently, she'd been keeping up with my blog. she had been one of the original sounding boards for the business idea that propelled me into graduate school last year, the one that spoke to a need among women to find and be found in real community and grace. she had seen that vision slowly transform into a calling to ministry. she also knew how long i had been searching for places to connect at our church, failing for such a long time to find the right landing pad in which to serve and connect.

it turns out she'd been finding others like me. in fact, she was one of them. and then there was kristen, who had recently been burdened with an inexplicable need to pray for the women at our church. and there was maggie, who had been working for the previous year to establish and grow a women's ministry at one of our distributed sites and could share with us wisdom and vision.

lauren wondered, would i like to join them for a time of prayer and sharing and brainstorming at her house that saturday?

would i.

that first meeting back in february led to another meeting the following weekend. we got to know one another, since lauren was the only one who knew all three of us, but none of the rest of us previously knew one another. we shared our hearts and began to cast a vision for what it might look to provide a place of deep connection and authentic conversation among the women at our church. eventually, this led to a dessert gathering with all of our husbands, in which we shared this vision and they listened, asked questions, and offered so much wisdom.

we fasted together. we called each other during the week. we sent e-mails like they were going out of style. we kept meeting, and we kept praying for this fledgling ministry. slowly, a purpose and structure began to emerge.

and then one morning, after one of our late-night marathon meetings, i found myself staring in the mirror as i brushed my teeth with one single thought resounding in my head: friends make a real difference. in the time i've been living in florida, i have loved the home of quiet sanctuary that kirk and i have created together, along with our two kitties. i am still awestruck every day by the tropical beauty that surrounds me here and the charm of the little town in which we live. and yet, here and now, this was the first time florida actually felt like home.

all because of friends. they make all the difference. after two years of praying for God to bring these exact three girls into my life, i know this to be true without a doubt.

sighs of happiness

in

tonight kirk and i walked outside and found ourselves greeted by a perfect night. the air, to breathe it deeply, filled our lungs with sweetness, the wind blew swiftly and rustle-y through the trees, and i felt the lightest touch of sprinkles on my cheek. a storm is coming, but it's not here yet.

off we clipped down the road in our car, windows rolled wide open and our weepies album floating out into the quiet night air. we rolled across one brick road after another, through neighborhoods favorite and familiar, and the wind flowed through the car and blew my hair wildly across my forehead, everywhere. i sighed deeply and contentedly as we puttered along those roads, my mind filled with so many good things coming our way, falling into place, filling our life with activity and crazy love and happiness.

we are coming up on our two-year anniversary next month, and let me tell you: it has been an amazing time. i love that we live a quirky story, that i've never encountered a story like ours, that we make choices other people sometimes deem crazy but that bring us so much joy and freedom.

even though some of our choices, like choosing the sojourners path and grad studies and the freelance life, have necessitated humility in other areas, like how and when we fully furnish our house and how frequently we gift ourselves with new clothes, it feels like we are entering into a season where some of that waiting and holding out is ending. i expect that we will continue to be watchful and careful with the direction some of our resources go, but i also see how some of the things we've been watching and waiting for are here, finally coming to birth.

that's why tonight it felt like we'd looked up and found ourselves surrounded by burgeoning life, like a spring of colorful blossoms had exploded all around us. and that is why this song by the weepies was the first i chose to blare on out our open car windows . . .

painting by chagall

thunder rumbles
in the distance:
a quiet intensity.
i am willful,
your insistence
is tugging at the best of me.
you're the moon,
i'm the water.
you're mars,
calling up neptune's daughter.

sometimes rain that's needed falls
we float like two lovers in a painting by chagall.
all around is sky and blue town,
holding these flowers for a wedding gown.
we live so high above the ground,
satellites surround us.

i am humbled
in this city,
there seems to be an endless sea
of people like us:
wakeful dreamers,
i pass them on the sunlit streets.
in our rooms,
filled with laughter,
we make hope
from every small disaster.

everybody says,
"you can't, you can't, you can't,
don't try."
still, everybody says that
if they had a chance, they'd fly
like we do.

kirk: 'i'm not gonna have any memory left, because i downloaded a university'

in

my hub has discovered itunes university. this is a place on itunes where colleges like stanford and yale and duke offer free lectures -- and entire courses -- through downloadable podcasts.

this morning, kirk was up about three hours before me. his first words to me after i woke up were that he'll be getting a free education from RTS seminary while i'm getting my MA in spiritual formation over the next three years. this is because he downloaded 650 podcasts, which is 23 courses in total, from the local seminary into his itunes.

i find this utterly adorable, because that's just who kirk is. he loves to learn, and especially to find new, untraditional ways of doing it.

it was also particularly sweet to watch him discover that the available memory in his macbook pro had shrunk from 65 to 52 gigabytes as a result. he's such a silly boy. and you know what? i love that about him.

some words, for now

in

hello, friends. i know i have been quiet around here lately. my last few posts have been an unusual string, redirecting you to places that have inspired me, be it a blog or an interview or a piece of beautiful music. i have done this rather than sharing my own heart with you here, and it has not escaped my notice.

this is unusual behavior for me in this space, and you are not alone in noticing and even feeling the change. and perhaps you are concerned. i would not be surprised if you were wondering if i'm okay, since i've walked through seasons of wordlessness on this blog before, and they have usually been fraught with so much pain and confusion.

that is not the case this time. i am thankful that i can say this, as i believe it is the first time i have ever been able to say that my quietness on this blog has nothing to do with confusion or pain or turmoil or my usual incarnation of wordlessness.

i wish i could say that i am back, that words will flow like liquid from me now. but i can't promise that. there is much going on in this world of mine over here, and my heart is full and overflows with adoration of our God for all of it. he has been faithful and good to me, faithful to hear my heart's cry for many things over many years, now responding in ways that are surreal and surprising and so personal.

i will be sharing more of these experiences with you soon, as the stories ready themselves to be pieced into words meant just for you. but in the meantime, know that i am well and that i am thinking of you and that i continue to love all of you in this beautiful blogging community.

and, because i can't resist passing along something that touches me deeply, i hope you will be blessed by the following article that expresses so much of my own heart for wounded people sitting in broken places. the piece is written by jon acuff of "stuff christians like," and it is called #195: believing bad times equals bad us (the cocaine testimony).

be blessed and a blessing.

oh, and p.s.: kirk and i just got home from seeing michael w. smith perform live in concert to a packed house at our church. did you know that guy's been recording and performing music for 25 years? did you listen to "go west, young man" and "friends are friends forever" when you were in junior high like i did? you better believe he performed "secret ambition" tonight . . . and those of us who were old enough to remember that song felt like we'd flashed back fifteen years. but it was a blessed night of worship, arms and voices raised to our God in unity, and i felt like we'd gotten a tiny glimpse of heaven.

if this music doesn't make you cry, something is wrong with your heart

in

this theme, called "gabriel's oboe," is one of the most beautiful, haunting melodies i have ever heard in my life. when i hear it, my breath catches in my throat and i feel a squeezing in my heart. my eyes swell with tears and i invariably whisper, "our God is so beautiful." because when i hear music like this, it moves me to worship God.

conducted by the composer himself, the great ennio morricone, this piece is the theme music for the film, "the mission."

 

video run time: approximately 2 minutes.

best blog of the week

in

for the past week, thanks to the great recommendation by jennwith2ns, i have found a new favorite way to procrastinate. rather, i have found a new favorite way to ensure that i'll have an opportunity to laugh really, really hard every morning.

put more succinctly, i have found a new favorite blog.

the blog is called stuff christians like. the writer, jon acuff, writes advertising for a living. this explains how he is able to write hilarious, to-the-point riffs on stuff christians like in order to help us laugh at ourselves, learn from ourselves, and take ourselves a little less seriously. i find it has quickly become my essential daily dose of cyber-coffee. it's brilliant and funny and thoughtful and incisive and, yes, even heartfelt and genuine. the guy truly loves jesus, but he also thinks the christian subculture is just a little . . . well, weird. and what can i say? i totally agree with the guy.

as you'll see, jon is chronicling his way through all the stuff christians like. you could entertain yourself for a really long time just by clicking randomly on posts that sound interesting or strike a chord with you. to give you a little jumpstart, here are a few of my favorites:

* #114: not knowing how to act in a counselor's lobby

* #159: the "pray if you feel led" prayer

* #110: donald miller

* #145: weird christian dating sites

* #169: clapping our hands (a step-by-step guide to the death of rhythm)

off to the spa

in

after spending yesterday knocked out on doses of nyquil, today is going to be quite a treat that a portion of our tax return is providing for us. kirk and i will be spending the day at our favorite spa retreat, getting massage treatments and reading by the pool and making use of the sauna and enjoying a healthy lunch. my eyes will certainly benefit from the cool restorative of cucumber slices, and my pores will be reopened by the steam room. i'll be trying out a neuromuscular treatment for the first time, which will focus on deep muscle tissue in the neck, shoulders, back, and head. kirk's going for a reflexology foot message this time around. i can hardly wait! what a treat. my body is so going to love this, and so will my soul.

chewing on garlic is . . . er, interesting

in

i might be getting sick. blergh!

kirk had an upper respiratory infection two weeks ago, but i sailed through with a hardy immune system and didn't get a lick of it. we traveled on four airplanes and sat in airports on four different occasions over this last week during a very busy season of travel, and i didn't pick up one sick germ. but yesterday, i came back to school and sat next to a girl who was getting over a nasty cold and interfaced with a faculty member who was getting over her own upper respiratory infection, and this morning i woke up with a bad sore throat.

this afternoon, the sore throat was still there. i took a long nap. i woke up with my skin feeling sensitive, my bones feeling achy, and my eyelids feeling very, very heavy. my eyeballs themselves have started to hurt.

i hate getting sick.

so kirk is on high-alert mode. he asked if i was willing to do everything i could to ward off the bad effects getting worse. i said no, knowing this would mean ingesting all sorts of herbs and fruits and medicines. then he asked if i was willing to risk it getting worse and having to go to the yucky walk-in clinic we visited twice for him when he was sick. i said no.

i could see i was stuck between a rock and a hard place. blergh.

so i consented. he brought me a bowl of sliced orange wedges with the peels peeled off and a large garlic clove cut into four chunks. he advised me to chew on a garlic chunk, swallow it, and then immediately eat an orange wedge. 'why?' i wondered. 'because the garlic can be kind of strong,' he said. i wasn't sure i believed him. how bad could garlic be?

well, the answer is that it can feel like it's blowing your brain out your ears. wow, that stuff is strong! but i did as my 'doctor' prescribed, even though it's not in my natural inclination to do so, and already i feel myself a little boosted on the energy front. good juju.

let's get this girl better fast, God. i don't want to be sick.

a more perfect union

in ,

i am posting below one of the most inspired speeches i have ever heard uttered in my lifetime. it is a long speech, clocking in at 38 minutes, but one inspired on every level we could possibly hope for a presidential candidate's speech to be inspired.

this speech by barack obama evidences his gracious manner, his genuine respect for all human beings, his ability to think deeply and critically and originally and thoughtfully on complex concerns, his understanding of what it means and what it will take for a people to become united through what they share instead of divided for what they don't share, and his continued conviction that hope in our nation is worth fighting fiercely for.

and while some of barack obama's opponents will continue to say that he knows how to craft and deliver pretty speeches but lacks the ability and experience to act or to lead, i will say three things.

first, that thoughtful and thorough and originally penned speeches like this one indicate a man who truly knows how to think critically and form beliefs about appropriate responses to difficult issues. there are no simple sound bytes here; these are long and thoughtful ideas strung together into a weighty message that overwhelmingly delivers real substance. frankly, it makes the former college honors writing instructor in me swoon with amazement and pride.

second, i echo michelle obama's own conviction that a long line of years spent working on the south side streets of chicago as a civil rights activist gives a man more experience and hard skills and leadership opportunity than years spent reading bills and submitting votes in washington. i have long wondered why this experience goes unacknowledged by his critics, when it demonstrates firsthand that he not only knows how to bring about real change for real people but also how to lead and to act decisively and with passion.

and third, i offer the words of his former colleague at the university of chicago, whose surprising phone call with barack obama gave him deeper insight into the kind of leader obama will be as president: that he is someone who wants to understand both sides of an issue before opening his mouth or deciding his own mind about it, someone who is humble enough to ask questions, and someone who will surround himself with people skilled in the necessary areas. i cannot imagine a finer candidate to be our next president of the united states of america.


note: text version of this speech is available here.

with love, for kirsten

in

on this day of love, my thoughts are on you, sweet girl, and all that stands before you in what you wrote about here. God is here, and so are we. but how scary, still, to know that only we can walk the path that stands before us. but even still, you are not alone.

i found this poem in an epitaph to a book kirk gave to me tonight. the book is called anam cara, which is irish gaelic for "soul friend," which is what you are to me. the book and poem are written by the late john o'donohue, an irish poet and philosopher who writes much on beauty and the numinous and spirituality. (incidentally, he just passed away this past january 3rd, God rest his soul.)

this poem is my prayer for you this day, filled with all my love.

beannacht

on the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble,
may the clay dance
to balance you.

and when your eyes
freeze behind
the gray window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you,
may a flock of colors,
indigo, red, green
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight.

when the canvas frays
in the curach of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you,
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home.

may the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours,
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours.

and so may a slow
wind work these words
of love around you,
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.

i love you, sweet girl. happy valentine's day.

new soul

in

i found this video clip a few days ago when visiting boho girl's blog, and it has stuck with me ever since. part of the reason is because the song is the sort that naturally sticks in your head. (i dare you to listen and try NOT to hum it all day!) it's also the sort that makes you bop around while listening. you simply cannot sit still. it makes you feel like dancing around the house. except you also feel compelled to stay in your seat and watch the full length of the music video because the story that it tells is so intriguing. it has a whimsicalness that i love.

i knew i was planning to post this video clip at some point, i just wasn't sure where it would fit in the scheme of things, given that i'm trying to unpack the story of my life's last week. but when i watched the video again this morning, i knew that now is the time.

here's why. the artist, yael naim, sings about being a new soul in a very strange world. she sings about making every possible mistake. and yet on her face you see eagerness. in her decorating of her new apartment, you see creativity and the embrace of possibility. in her voice, you hear soulfulness and rich depths. and in the story that plays out, you see how her little steps to decorate her apartment and surround herself with friends leads her into imagination and risk-taking and eventual total surprise.

what i love about this is that it reminds me of our blogging community. specifically, the girl in the video reminds me of tammy, my friend who is coming face to face with God and discovering the start of a new beginning. she is becoming a new soul in many ways right now. and that newness of discovery is scary. the steps that we take in such a radically unknown world are tenuous at best. and yet if we just take one step, and then one more step, each time trying to move toward what feels most true to the truth of what's inside of us (just like the artist in this video did by rolling long strips of wallpaper on the wall and beginning to decorate them with her favorite pictures), then surprising and supernatural things begin to happen.

i still can't decide if the pictures of friends she places on the wall are real friends from her "old world" that she brought along to make her new home feel more like home, or if they are people completely of her own imagining. either way, i'm not sure it matters in the scope of how her interactions with these friends reminds me of us in this little community. in a way, we are all just pictures to one another, accessed through a flat, static screen on a computer. but then whimsy starts to happen. someone comes tromping through the reeds playing a woodwind. someone comes romping up through tall sunflowers clanging together a cymbal. someone else comes from behind a huge hay bale banging a big drum.

and then what happens is magical. all the walls come tumbling down. we are mystified but compelled to explore further. we start jumping up and down and dancing in our own crazy way. and then we all get on board together, creating a joyful train of love and music and free-spirited delight. and the little goldfish we'd been preserving so carefully in that little glass bowl gets released into the wild, where it belongs.

It Must Be Love

in

Kirk and I got iPod Shuffles today as early Valentine's Day presents. Aren't they just the cutest? Sigh. Even cuter is Kirk bopping around the house with his little white earplugs in his ears and his metallic silver Shuffle affixed to his dress shirt, thanks to the handy little clippy thing that's part of these little musical inventions. Cutie!

This little nubbin is just an inch and a half long, one inch tall, and about a quarter of an inch thick. Tiny! And so, so cute. I particularly think the green was an appropriate selection, as everything else in my life finds me in a season of green, including the linens and comforter on our bed, my computer case, my desktop screen, the interior lining of my computer bag, and even the sweater I'm wearing right now.

So, right now I'm happily listening to a shuffle of Leigh Nash,Melissa Myers,David Wilcox,Deb Talan,the Weepies, and the Once soundtrack. I hardly know what to do with myself and this fresh induction into the hall of technology!

A Literary Meme or Two

in

Today's meme roundup is two-for-one on a literary theme. Laura tagged me for the 1-2-3 book meme, and Heather tagged me about two weeks ago for a bookish meme that I knew would take some time to think through, being the sort of person that struggles to locate "just one" of anything.

***

For the 1-2-3 meme, the directions are:

1) Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2) Open the book to page 123.
3) Find the fifth sentence.
4) Post the next three sentences.
5) Tag five people.

The nearest book on my table, as semi-boring as it seems, is MacBook for Dummies. Page 123 finds us in the chapter about taking your laptop onto Safari, the default internet browser for Mac computers, which I take personal issue with because I switched out the Safari browser for the lovely Firefox shortly after I got this computer. I'm tempted to reverse this meme and pick a different book instead in protest! Sigh. But I will continue.

The fifth sentence on page 123 is the preface to a list: "Figure 8-5 illustrates the sheet that appears, in which you can 1) enter the name for the bookmark, and 2) specify whether you want the bookmark to appear in the bookmarks bar, the bookmarks menu, or an existing bookmarks folder."

Stimulating reading, indeed. It appears we have stumbled into a tutorial on setting up internet bookmarks.

To continue with the following three sentences, we learn: "To return to a bookmark, use one of these methods. 1) Click a bookmark button on the bookmarks bar. 2) Click the bookmarks menu and select a bookmark." Wow!

Okay, that was silly. It would have been more profound if I'd selected a different book. But memers can't be choosers.

***

As far as Heather's bookish meme goes, the questions are as follows:

1) One book that changed your life. I'm going to have to go with Anne Lamott's Traveling Mercies. I read this book back in 2000-2001, after having already read her cranky, cantankerous, wildly hilarious and honest Bird by Bird book on writing. When I learned that Lamott had become a believer, I had to learn what spirituality was like for this dreadlock-wearing, liberal, fiercely feeling white woman. Traveling Mercies is a book that moved me further along in the path toward grace. It helped me get more comfortable in my own quirky skin and to see the delicate, astounding beauty in every human being on this earth. Thank you, Anne Lamott, for helping my faith become as fierce and devoted and honest and raw and real as it is today. You have been an integral part of my journey.

2) One book that you have read more than once. This one is gonna have to be My Name Is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok. This is a book about a little boy who discovers an extraordinary artistic gift that both consumes and terrorizes him. The problem is, he comes from a devoutly Hasidic family, and his father is a leader both locally and internationally within their Jewish faith. "Making pictures" is considered unacceptable sacrilege. His father despises Asher's gift, and yet Asher can hardly control it and can only conclude that this gift has been given to him by God. It is an intensely vivid novel that explores the tension between art and faith and plunges one into the artistic mind and its highly emotional process. I've read it at least five times. Cannot recommend it highly enough.

3) One book you would want on a desert island. I know it sounds funny, but I would choose Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. It's funny because this book is primarily about community, about the ways that the collective members of the body of Christ can learn to love more purely, and yet I would be bringing it to a place where community only comes in packs of wild animals. (Yikes!) But I would choose it anyway for two reasons. First, because reading Donald Miller helps me feel so much less alone. His beautiful words on themes that mean much to me would make the isolation less painful. And second, because these themes move me so deeply that I would likely be moved to prayer for the collective body of Christ back on the mainlands of civilization. In my isolation, I would offer only what I could, making use of otherwise useless time, and still offering my own participation to a body that divinely connects and transcends location.

4) Two books that made you laugh. I think the first book I was conscious of spontaneously laughing out loud while reading was Nick Hornby's About a Boy. I read that book shortly before the movie came out several years ago (and the book was way more hilarious than the movie), and it had me laughing so frequently and happily that I went straight on to read Hornby's several other books. Just could not get enough. Don't you love that, finding an author who does that to you?

Another book that made me laugh was Anne Lamott's Grace, Eventually. Really, all of her books make me laugh, but this is the one that most recently did it for me. Kirk says that he can always tell when I'm reading Anne Lamott because I have a special kind of laugh that only comes out when one of her books is in my hand, when her words are running through my mind and steeping into my consciousness of life and what it's all about. What can I say? The girl disarms me, helps me take life a little less seriously, while heightening my attention to it at one and the same time.

5) One book that made you cry. This one's easy. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. I read this book after writing a research paper on the film version of the novel that released in December. I was writing about the negotiation that took place between Paramount Vantage and the families of the young boys in the film, who were disputing the inclusion of some of the thematic material in the script and were fearing for their safety in Afghanistan once the film released. After spending two weeks staring at photographs of the two central characters in the film, reading about the conflict, learning why the conflict was an issue in the first place, and becoming emotionally tied to the way this story was affecting these boys' real lives, I had to go right out and purchase the book, carrying those two boys' faces in my mind as I read.

I carried the book on the plane with me when we headed out to California for Christmas, and I read straight through for eight hours, leaving just about 60 pages for the next morning. I did not expect it to affect me the way that it did, but I bawled several times -- on the plane, no less!! Several times I had to put it down and push it away from me because the tears were so fast and furious and the pain and connection so deep. Oh, this book moved me so deeply. I wish I could eat it and let it become a permanent part of my insides. But I guess, in a way, it already is.

6) One book you wish you'd written. I wish I'd written Traveling Mercies, mostly for the reason of its being a beautifully rendered account of one woman's spiritual journey, laced with grace. All three of these things -- beautiful writing, spiritual themes, the infusion of grace -- are so important to me in my own life. And I suppose I look upon Traveling Mercies as a pinnacle because it represents so much of what I've come to value and is one of the books that started me on my journey toward an embrace of these themes in my life and this kind of writing in the first place.

7) One book you wish had never been written. I can't say I have one in particular for this category, but I do wish none of the books that were written solely for financial gain, sensationalism, or trite answers to life were ever published. All they do is clutter the world with drivel and are a detestable position from which to apprehend life and reality.

8) Two books you are currently reading. My reading has slowed these days. I'm eeking my way through several, as indicated on my sidebar, but none of them have me gripped in their throes. I guess I'll say that I'm reading Secrets of a Freelance Writer by Robert Bly because I'm considering how I might make a living freelancing my services to corporate clients as I continue to wait for illumination from God on how to serve his people's hearts. I'm also reading an interesting memoir called The Golden Road by Caille Millner, an author who is my age and who grew up in California but who, at age 29, has already graduated from Harvard, has written for Newsweek and the Washington Post, has received several prestigious writing awards, and serves on the editorial board for the San Francisco Chronicle. Hello! Can you say accomplished?! Part of me envies her success, but another part of me knows that her road has not been an easy one (which is the story of the book). The deeper parts of me try to remember that we are each on a journey just our own.

9) One book you've been meaning to read. I've been meaning to read A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier. Anybody read it? Recommend it?

***

And now for the tags. I'm going to tag some of my literary-loving friends out there because I'd love to learn what they're reading and what books have helped make them who they are today. And, because I did a two-in-one meme, I take the liberty of tagging 10 people instead of just 5. I tag:

Kirsten at Lattes and Rainy Days
Sarah at I Am Sarah Grace
Rebecca at Rebecca's Kitchen Window
Jen at Bourgeois Baby
Christin at Renewed Day by Day
Chloe at Beauty in the Breakdown
23 Degrees at 23 Degrees
Eclexia at Eclexia
Terri at Listening Out Loud
Nate at Stealthy Darky

Feel free to do one or both of the memes, and to tag as many or as few people as you like in return. I look forward to reading your responses!

Day of Industry

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Quick and tasty black beans, topped with homemade fresh salsa, my surprisingly successful attempt for lunch today, after a not-so-successful dinner last night.

The day started unpresumingly enough. Kirk had his first day of a new class, but my new class doesn't start until Wednesday. This meant a day of quietness, which is just what I desired in the aftermath of so many rich revelations during Kirsten's visit. I hoped to sit with some of the new thoughts that rose to the surface while she was here, perhaps talk them over with God, see what more He might have to say about all those things, perhaps gain even greater clarity about the many, many questions bubbling up inside of me about my life.

While the morning was slow in its unfolding hours, I did not spend them in the reflective way I thought I would. Instead, I read news clippings, updated my planner with this month's class schedule, began tinkering with iMovie and iPhoto in order to publicly share the very special StoryCorps interview that Kirsten and I recorded while she was here (should have something for you within the next few days!), and played the Yes We Can video repeatedly as I worked.

All I really needed to get done yesterday was a trip to the grocery store, so I was putting it off to the afternoon. And since Kirk decided this weekend that he really wants to try a 28-day detox and fasting regimen this month in an effort to reconnect to a health-first lifestyle, I knew this would simply involve creating a list of lots of healthy legumes and vegetables.

Simple, huh?

As most of you know, I know next to nothing about preparing meals, much less healthy ones. The closest I had gotten were the few meals created while Kirsten was here, inspired out of her own creative mind, and the short-lived attempt at a raw foods life last year.

Thankfully, Kirk had a book in mind for this month-long feat. The book is called Get Healthy Through Detox and Fasting by Dr. Don Colbert, one of the authors I worked with during my time at the publishing house. In short, we are embarking upon something called a modified Daniel diet for 21 days, followed by a 7-day juice fast. This regimen will clean out and detoxify our skin, our cells, our tissues, and our organs, leaving our bodies healthy and whole at the end of it, something Kirk has come to increasingly value as he goes on in life, with me tagging along to bring up the rear. Ha!

I appreciated that Kirk told me that it was completely up to me whether to participate in this eating plan with him or not. As I've shared previously, me and my body have warring issues in the food department. I tend to feel confused, frustrated, scared, and schizophrenic when it comes to eating and taking care of myself. The thought of embarking on a 28-day commitment in this area was nothing short of perplexing. I decided to skim through the book on Monday not only to prepare the grocery list for the foods he would need but also to make my final decision on whether to join on in.

It took just a short skim through the first few chapters for me to remember that this is something my body probably needs. So I kept going, kept scanning the sections on the eating plan and eventually getting to the pages and pages of recipes in the back. Maybe due to having prepared a few healthy meals while Kirsten was here and finding it relatively easy and even fun, I found myself receptive to the idea of this plan. It really helped, too, that the recipes at the back of the book looked positively do-able for me. They were short and utilized a lot of similar ingredients, some of which I'd already become familiar with in my previous shopping expedition for Kirsten's visit.

I began to notice the problem as I worked to prepare the shopping list. Kirk had already begun a list of cruciferous vegetables, not linked to any specific recipe, but now I needed to buy manifold ingredients for 28 recipes for the week: breakfast, snack, lunch, and dinner for seven days straight. Yikes!

This became a problem because I had no system. I skimmed recipes that looked pretty good, noticed that many of the ingredients matched many of the ingredients in other recipes, and wrote down the items. I wasn't keeping track of overlapping items on the list or whether the items I wrote down were tied to recipes I actually wanted to try. However, in the hard-headed way that I do sometimes, I just kept blazing ahead.

Until I snapped.

"Arrrgh!!" I sighed, loudly. You might even have called it a harumph. I felt so confused! My eyes were swimming over a sea of ingredients, none of which were arranged in any sensible way. I felt completely taken out of the game by this lame 28-day idea.

Eventually I pulled it together and realized all it took was a bit of order. I turned the list over and created a list of recipes that looked easy to make. Why not go easy on one's self in the first week? Give yourself a chance to succeed and do it well, is what I say. So under the categories of breakfast, snack, lunch, and dinner, I selected about five recipes for each to try out this week, figuring we could repeat those which were successful or heat up leftovers, if there were any.

Once the recipe list was compiled, I transferred it to a clean sheet of paper and made it look pretty. (Gotta love the organized pretty; keeps one motivated!)

Then it was time to create the new grocery list. This became easy! I went down the list of my recipes for the week and shuffled to each recipe in the book as I went, writing down the ingredients I needed. When perishable items began to repeat, I added a tally mark to the existing ingredient on the list. And when it came to nonperishable items, such as the numerous spices and oils and other sundry bulk items, I just grinned to myself and thought, "Yeah, that one item will last me for a while."

This entire process took about 4 1/2 hours. I am not kidding you. I know that probably sounds like an exaggeration, but it seriously is no joke. But you can go ahead and laugh anyway, because I know it's pretty funny. Even though it didn't feel funny at the time, in the slightest.

In all, this grocery excursion required trips to three separate grocery stores: Costco, Whole Foods, and Publix. Seeing as how it took the entire afternoon to complete the list, the shopping began right about the time the streets became flooded with cars, everyone coming home from work but also stopping at the store to pick up some last-minute items for dinner. This means the streets and stores were crowded and this already cranky, tired girl became crankier and tired-er.

I could only muster the heart to do Costco and Whole Foods yesterday, saving Publix for this morning, but you should have seen me trying to complete this part of the job, staring at shelves and asking many employees along the way for help repeatedly. Where do I find Ezekiel bread? What about coconut milk? Rice milk? Agave nectar and butternut squash? Barley?

When I finally got home last night, two hours later, I decided to make one of the meals originally planned for Kirsten's visit, knowing I had all the ingredients, whereas many of the freshest ingredients for these new recipes were still on the produce shelves at Publix, waiting for me until morning to pick them up. I selected a Thai dish with homemade peanut sauce for our evening meal, and this took about an hour for my already tired mind and body to prepare. (Seriously, how do people do it??)

I guess the bummer news is that the meal did not turn out. I cooked brown rice for the first time, and for whatever reason the instructions are different than for white rice. I didn't cook it long enough but didn't realize this was the case until it was too late. On top of that, the peanut sauce did not turn out. It ran more watery than expected, even though I had it heating on a slow-burning heat for about 45 minutes. Grr!! This is not the way to end a difficult day of unexpected activity!

Kirk was a good sport, though, insisting on eating my share even as I looked on in disbelief. It really was not good, folks, but perhaps that estimation was more psychological and therefore exaggerated than it was based in reality. Even tonight, Kirk says he wants to heat up its leftovers. Silly boy! (And this picture to the left is his stamp of approval on the black-beans-and-salsa lunch I created today, which I must agree, was quite tasty.)